Corona Tastes Bitter

“So Akhil, how does it feel to be among so many ladies?” she asked nonchalantly and I gave her a stupid smile and continued doing it essentially because I didn’t want to make her feel bad by saying it feel really weird not because I was among so many ladies but because of the fact that all of them were married.

Could you believe it; in my seven member (excluding one who is getting married) team, there are 6 ladies and I am the only guy. Apparently it looks exciting but I am not done here. To add to this fact, five of these six ladies are married. So that was my team introduction.

Yesterday we went out for dinner as one of our team members is getting married and thus leaving. So we went to a restaurant bizarrely named Terracotta. Seven ladies and this dude. Now first things first. I was excited as well as anxious. Not only you feel odd among so many women also you, at times, feel like persona non grata. Basically what I want to say here is that meri thodi si hat hui thi. But this dude tried his best to look comfortable and tried to engage himself in the conversation even when the words were not coming out easily.

So we sat down and a waiter approached us and gave me a wet towel and muttered something like trrune prrurrnnne. (Firstly I have always struggled in understanding the accents of the attendants be it McDonald or Barista or any restaurant or café. They speak so fast and are not audible at the same time so whatever they say just go over my head.) Now as I was holding that wet towel in my hand, I had no clue what to do with that but this dude played it smart and started looking at my cell (as though I had received an important message) and waited to see what the lady, sitting alongside with me, does with it. As soon as started rubbing it on her face, I felt better and confident and started doing the same. So first hurdle crossed.

Now MNC people we are, our dinner can’t start without some cocktail. But I thought only one or two ladies might drink and rest won’t so I decided to abstain from drinking. Also it had been a long time since I drank beer (roughly 5 months). So when my Manager asked whether I would have any drinks, I put a brave front and said “I drink very occasionally and would rather avoid it”. She laughed and said this is an occasion too and started asking other ladies and when the Drinks menu came, everyone seemed so excited and started suggesting ordering a pitcher of mixed cocktail of rum, vodka, coke and what not. I was startled as everyone seemed eager having few rounds of hard drink. And then I started cursing myself and said “saale aur hero ban le, jab poocha tha to keh deta haan, I will go for it. Huh, ab piyo banana shake”. But fortunately another colleague of mine insisted that I should have some, so I relented (!!!) and said “Ok, I will have some beer” and felt relieved. I got the menu and saw all those familiar names. Now whenever I had gone with my friends for beer in some good restaurant like Ruby Tuesday (for hawabaazi but only in Happy Hours), we always ordered Castle Lager as it was the cheapest one (Rs 150 for a bottle) and always shied away from those internationally famous brands like Budweiser, Heineken or Corona as they were all in the range of Rs 250 plus taxes (no Happy Hours thing was applicable to them either). But here I realized my chance and ordered Budweiser. After couple of minutes, the waiter came back and apologized saying they are out of Budweiser. Out of habit, I was just going to say to bring Castle but I stopped myself and said, “never mind, bring Heineken”. So this dude had the first Heineken of his life. I need not to say, to me, it didn’t taste any better than Castle but who cares. I acted as though I have never drunk any non-premium beers before.

So we had nice dinner where topics of conversations varied from KBC’s Shahrukh Khan to Honeymoon Travels’ Kay Kay. Needless to say, I was more of a mute spectator, wondering where I was stuck. I guess few other ladies must have been thinking on the same lines.

Few of the ladies had to leave early so in the end we four people were left; my manager, my lead, outgoing lady and yours truly. My manager announced second round of drinks and, as refined tastes I had, I decided to go for Corona (Rs 275). So it was served and while I was staring at the bottle (I had never seen it before), I was also served a slice of lime. I gave it an indifferent look and started to have my beer. But just then, a nearby standing waiter said, “Sir, you need to pour this lime in your beer as it tastes bitter”. I was baffled. I gave a sly glance to my team members and felt relieved to notice that they were too engrossed in their gossiping and thus didn’t notice my faux pas. So I took up the lime and started pouring it my Corona and just then the outgoing lady asked me, “Oh, Why are you pouring lime in your beer? Does it have something to do with Corona? Because I have never seen anyone doing this”. Though I was bit startled with her question, but I sensed an opportunity and went for a kill. I said, “Actually, Corona tastes bitter and we are supposed to pour lime in it to make it taste better”. Oh yes, I did it. She seemed impressed and (I hope) she went away with the impression that I was not having it for the first time.

So that somehow summarize my first team outing which was nothing but eventful. Infact, in the end, when we were approaching our car, my manager suddenly stopped. S said, “Hey what happened? Why aren’t you moving?” My manager R replied, “Ah well, I want to move but can’t. I guess I am stuck”. Later we discovered that her heel got trapped in a hole and got jammed there. So everyone started laughing out loud and then suddenly (as R was having her after-dinner paan) her throat got choked and she started coughing madly which further induced another laughter session. But as she continued coughing, we realized that she needed help and then I ran to get some water from nearby Café Coffee Day. Finally she drank the water and felt better, making everyone else relieved and amused as well.

Treadmill

Now this is my third (and may be final) attempt to revive my so-called blog. The urge was always there to write or to vent out frustrations but couldn’t, partially because of lack of time and partially because of my restive and incoherent mind. Now don’t take it literally when I say I didn’t have enough time. It’s just that while in office, you feel guilty and uncomfortable if you are doing some personal work when you have some shit office work on your table to do. Writing gives me a break from this crazy world. Yea I know there is nothing wrong with this world; it is just failure on my part to cope up with these whirl winding circumstances. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have entered into my tenth month of employment (????)

Past year has been a year of revelations. Infact it was a year of transformation and that transformation brought some unprecedented turmoil. I appeared for my last paper on 28th April, 2006 and joined my present company on 2nd May. On the hindsight, the time between job offer (December 2005) and actual joining (May 2006) was the best time. That was the time when I had no tensions. I had a (on the face of it) a decent job offer, had decent percentages in my first three semesters, no tension of attending morbid lectures and had all the time to do what I liked doing, like sleeping, reading and playing TT. I remember how our HR class would sit in a group in our good old canteen in a group (or as some cynics would term it Gola). Placement season had been an enormous trial for whole of the HR batch still I think we did reasonably well, given the market conditions. Out of our batch, by January most of the people had got job offers and rest of us was trying our best. Out of people placed, some were working even harder to get other people placed, some were (like me) thanking their stars to have an offer and some people were busy taking sun bath, thinking it was inevitable (getting a job). But all in all it was fun. We had developed some bonding between us, though there were always some disputes, some people playing games and politics, just to be in lime light and trying to let other people know that they did exist and all. But we took adieu from each other on a good note and promised each other to be in touch, always. People got job locations in all parts of India from Gurgaon to Chennai, Kolkata to Nasik, Delhi to Bangalore, and Ahmedabad to Hyderabad. Some were lucky to had Chandigarh as their work place and some people like me felt lucky to be close to their home. Overall, everyone seemed excited (and a bit anxious) as they embarked on their maiden journey to the Corporate Life.

I’m afraid I drifted from revelation and transformation waala part. Needless to say, things have changed and they have changed in quite a dramatic manner. All those tension free days, free spirited attitude, freedom have gone and things like responsibility, career, money, future security (??) have been introduced in the so far goody-goody script. Though I would like to believe these are blessings in disguise as they have brought some (much needed) discipline in my life. Instead of doing kirtan all night, I feel compelled to go to bed at 11 or 11.30. Instead of getting up in the afternoon, I get up around 7 (never thought I was capable of that). I thought taking an afternoon nap was as essential as having lunch but that too has gone. But it feels good to live a normal life, I mean getting up at 7 in the morning, reaching office at 9, working (??), coming back in the evening at 6 or 7, doing bit of reading or watching TV, having dinner and then going to bed. On the face of it, it looks all good and peaceful. And that's exactly where the problem lies. That it is peaceful, staid, dull, monotonous, and routine. There is no excitement, no change, nothing, zilch. It’s like Waiting for Godot, waiting for something to happen and at the same time knowing that nothing gonna happen, just looking for the avenues to pass the time, knowing nothing gonna change.

I feel like running on a treadmill, where no matter how fast you run, at the and of the day, you are (stuck) at the same place.

Working Saturday Sucks

So too vella again to write some crap here. Saw the much acclaimed "The Deer Hunter" starring Robert De Niro, Christopher Walken and Meryl Streep. I was anticipating some engaging drama as it was based on trauma of American soldiers after Vietnam War and especially that drama of Russian roulette. It created some controversy as it was contended that The Deer Hunter sparked a string of Russian roulette suicides because of its dramatic depiction of captured American soldiers forced to play Russian roulette by their captors. Though I liked the movie but found it too long (3 Hours). Especially first half an hour of wedding celebration was a big turn off. Needless to say De Niro was terrific but it was Christopher Walken who stole the show. His transformation from a cool dude to a cold blooded "American" was fascinating. Also couple of scenes where De Niro and Walken play Roulette were high points of the movie which give you goose bumps. (Oh yes I am exaggerating)

Saw “Love Actually” for some third or fourth time. I just can’t get enough of Bill Nighy.

Also I got a chance to read two amazing novels. “The Kite Runner” by Khaleed Hosseini and “Catcher in the Rye” by J D Salinger. While KR can make someone cry, CR makes you smile with its sarcasm and witty one liners. My writing becomes pathetic when I try to review some book. All I can say is both books are highly recommended. Currently reading a book which hardly needs any introduction; Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. I have read some 150 pages and have found it quite insane. In fact things have improved quite a bit in last 50 pages, otherwise after reading first 100 pages, I was going through fits.

My coming Saturday is working which sounds so depressing. There should not be any working Saturday; in fact there should be alternate working days. There is no fun going to office every day.

“Mike"? Try "Mr. Wallace."

Must say I am breathing easier now for quite some time. Last one month or so has been reasonably good for me.

I wonder when I created this blog I had promised myself that I would be writing a lot. Needless to say I have failed miserably in that endeavor. But I have got some lame excuse for that which is I don’t want to write anything about my office here and other then office I have little to brood about.

Anyways life goes on. I am trying to bring life back on the track. I had thought of joining a gym as winters are approaching and winters are considered to be good season to build a good physique. But gym charges here are so outrageous, I nearly shelved the plans. But I am going to join it soon, may be from this AIDS day i.e. 1st December. Also trying to take care of health by having Dabur Chaywanprash, Bournvita and hot milk every night. Unfortunately I have put on some weight which always happens to me in winters as my diet goes up. Gotta do something about it.

Last week I saw “The Insider” starring Russell Crowe, Al Pacino and Christopher Plummer and directed by Michael Mann (Heat, Ali). Initially we three (Ashish, Naman and me) were supposed to see movie together but they fell asleep after 30 minutes calling it boring. Bastards. I loved the movie. It is based on the real life struggle of a whistle blower and a CBS’ “60 Minutes” show producer. Movie starts on a leisurely pace but catches momentum later. There was one scene involving Plummer (Mike Wallace in the movie) which just left me gasping.

When a damsel company lawyer called him Mike

“Mike"? Try "Mr. Wallace." We work in the same corporation, doesn't mean we work in the same profession. What are you gonna do now? You gonna finesse me? Lawyer me some more? I've been in this profession fifty fucking years.

After he saw his edited interview.

Mike Wallace: You cut it! You cut the guts out of what I said!
Eric Kluster: It was a time consideration, Mike...
Mike Wallace: Time? Bullshit! You corporate lackey! Who told you your incompetent little fingers had the requisite skills to edit me?
Quotes taken from IMDB. If anyone interested in this movie, check the following link.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0140352/

Next movie on my hit list is “The Deer Hunter” starring Robert De Niro and Christopher Walken. I have got the DVD. Yessssss.

Murphy's Law

"If a thing can go wrong, it will"

All my well laid plans of going to Chandigarh for Alumni Meet got shattered. After chalking out all the details like who all would be going, at what time to leave, where to stay, who will pick whom etc. first my brother got unwell and then I caught fever. Had to go home a day before alumni meet (Friday). Thought of going to Chandigarh from Sirsa on Saturday morning also got doomed when I started shivering frantically in the middle of the night. As they say "Kela ho gaya". I really wanted to go there, to meet batchmates and all but shit happened.

A So Called Fine Balance

So next week I would be completing my Six months in the office. I look back, trying to figure out the significance of past months, what I have done, what I could have done and more importantly what is needed to be done. Must say corporate life is not turning out the way I would have like it to. No, I didn't have any false expectations when I started but still certainly believe that I deserve better.

Life at times gets dull like hell. Watching movies bring some cheer and joy. After working (??!!) five days in office, even avoidable movies like Fanaa and Phir Hera Pheri provide a much needed break. Yesterday saw much hyped Don. Ok time pass though can't compare with the previous one as its been a long time since I saw Big B starrer Don. Still Farhan Akhtar disappoints. I expected better than that after after watching his DCH and Lakshya. Also SRK looked and acted horrible. I guess Boman Irani was the only saving grace. At the same time looking forward to see another Diwali release "Jaaneman" which stars my favorite Akshay. Movies reviews are mixed but who cares, can't think of any other way to pass the weekend.

Just completed "A Fine Balance" by Rohinton Mistry. Nice read. Tale of four character with different background, their struggles, fortunes, misfortunes, destiny and all that in the backdrop of Emergency era. Somewhere in between it becomes so depressing that I questioned myself whether I wanted to continue. I did complete it eventually and was glad of not leaving it midway (which of late has been happening quite frequently). But again a Finer Balance between Hope and Despair would have been appreciated.

Most probably would be going to Chandigarh this weekend for Alumni Meet. Looking forward to it with slight trepiditon though. Will get to meet old buddies but am not sure what we will brag about.

First Post

I had been thinking of starting a blog for a long time. Its not that I have some passion for writing or some excellent writing skills, it is just to give some vent to my feelings, however frustrated they may sound. Also I thought of doing something better than staring at my computer screen like dumb ass. I don' have much of idea what I would be writing in coming days but I would be writing (or atleast try) quite frequently.

Six months back, the idea of writing a blog would have sounded unimaginable. As we were just fresh out of a B-school, ready to take a plunge in corporate world, trying to bring it down. But that was not to be. In office I had all the time to browse internet aimlessly, without much to do. First I came across Orkut and then Blogspot. Read few blogs and, man, I was taken in. What fascinated me most was their writing skills.

I hope in coming days I would write something meaningful which will make sense, at least to me if not others.